I don't make New Years resolutions, the world is already filled with enough broken promises.
Manhattan was not made into a walled off maximum security prison in 1988.
You neither called nor respected me the next day.
And I still don't own a flying car OR personal jet-pack.
What I will do instead is continue to fill you with awe by regaling you with tales and truths about Me.
When I was a teenager I really really wanted to sleep with Marie Osmond.
Happy New Years everyone!
(especially you Marie)