Thursday, February 10, 2011


I have always really dug the Creature From The Black Lagoon. All of the Universal Monsters for that matter: The Creature, Wolfman, Dracula, Frankenstein's monster, King Kong, The Mummy, the whole gang. I don't know if it's that I identified with these poor mistreated creatures inasmuch as I just never really viewed them as the villains. Now this may be my misanthropic tendencies asserting themselves, but the real villains are the humans and their misdirected animosity. Take the Creature and Kong for example: the awesome looking gill-man and gorilla have been living peacefully in their secluded lagoon/island paradises, and its man that comes barging into THEIR turf uninvited, trying to assert dominance, remove them from their home, and profit off of them. I have but two words for you: Eminent and Domain, and I call bullsh*t sir! I'd defend my property from trespassers with extreme prejudice as well! Maybe the Black Lagoon was harboring Weapons of Mass Destruction.

When I was a kid we had a kindly, generous, and well-to-do friend of the family. What they were doing commiserating with my progenitors of dysfunction I will never know, and to be honest my assumption of their wealth is based purely on the fact they had an indoor swimming pool. I don't remember any other aspect of what I again assume must have been a palatial estate other than said interior lagoon except that on it's tiled cerulean wall there was a framed Creature from the Black Lagoon poster that had the caption "Who Peed In My Pool!?".
35 years later I have to admit it was me Mr. Shahoppaglue, I contaminated your pool with pee. Pee and self-loathing.

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