(Transcript of a telephone conversation between my delicate flower of a wife and myself from earlier in the week)
(that's my ringtone)
Me: (answering my phone) Thrill me.
Wife: Can you come get me?
Me: I can't, my wife should be home any second now to make me a turkey pot pie, it's too risky!
Wife: Ha ha, very droll. I think I locked my keys in my car.
Me: Are Lou Ferrigno?!
Wife: Wha...? Am I...? What did you just say?
Me: Are Lou Ferrigno?
Wife: Am I Lou Ferrigno?! Why am I Lou Ferrigno? You're Lou Ferrigno!!
Me: Answer me...Are Lou Ferrigno?
Wife: What are you talking about?! I think it's going to rain...
Me: It's our new thing.
Wife: What is? You understand that I'm locked out of my car, right?
Me: Whenever we were going to say "Are you for real?" instead now we say "Are Lou Ferrigno?"
Wife: (Long pause)....sigh...my coat is in the car...
Me: Say it.
Wife: Grrrr...."Are Lou Ferrigno?!"
Me: No, that's my part, I already said that. Say your part.
Wife: Fine! "I'm Lou Ferrigno!" Satisfied?! Now are you coming to get me or what?!!!!
Me: Noooo. Whenever I say "Are Lou Ferrigno?" the correct response is "You bet your Bill Bixby!"
Wife: I'm freezing, it's getting dark! This isn't funny.
Me: No it's not....It's frickin' awesome is what it is. I just thought of it now. Pretty cool, huh?
Wife: Fuck...it's starting to rain!
Me: Really? Are Lou Ferrigno?
Wife: Seriously! Hurry up!
Me: BZZZZT! Incorrect! What do you say?
Wife: A-ha! I say I just found my keys in my purse Ass Clown, and you are a dead man!
Me: Oh. I take it there will be no turkey pot pie to be had?
Wife: "Oh" is right Cock Monkey!
Me: Are you mad?
Wife: You bet your Motherfuckin' Bill Bixby!